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约 4630 个字预计阅读时间 15 分钟

The lecturer rises several arguments to counter the reading passage's explanation of the Transient lunar phenomena.

Firstly, the author states that TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens. The lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happens in two very specific locations, which indicates real events.

Secondly, the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during hermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He says the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight.

1. 评分

根据你提供的评分标准，我对你的作文进行初步评分：

内容 (Content): 4 分
- 你成功地选取了 lecture 中的重要信息，并且基本准确地呈现了这些信息与 reading passage 中相关观点的联系。
- 可能存在一些细微的表达不够精准或者连接不够清晰的地方，但整体而言，你理解了 lecture 如何反驳 reading passage 中的观点。
- 表达 (Delivery): 3 分
- 文章整体结构清晰，但存在一些语言错误，这些错误有时会影响到内容的准确性和连接的清晰度。
- 一些表达不够正式，可以进行润色。 2. 语言错误分析与修改建议
错误 1: "TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use"
- 原因: 语法错误，动词 "caused" 在情态动词 "might" 之后应该使用原形。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: "caused" 是过去式，与情态动词 "might" 连用不符合语法规则，影响了句子的流畅性和专业性。
- 修改建议: TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use.
错误 2: "TLP actually happens in two very specific locations"
- 原因: 动词时态和主谓一致错误。"happens" 是现在时第三人称单数形式，但主语 "TLP" 在这里指的是现象，可以理解为复数或者用一般现在时表示普遍情况。"in" 后面通常直接跟地点，中间多了一个空格。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 时态和主谓一致的错误影响了句子的准确性。多余的空格影响了阅读的流畅性。
- 修改建议: TLP actually happen in two very specific locations, 或者 TLP actually occur in two very specific locations.
- 错误 3: "the flaw of the telescope might occur in many random places on the surface"
- 原因: 词语搭配不够自然。"flaw of the telescope" 可以更简洁地表达为 "telescope flaws"。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 虽然意思能够理解，但表达不够简洁和专业。
- 修改建议: telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface.
- 错误 4: "the author contends TLP might represent the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts."
- 原因: "contends" 的宾语从句中 "might represent" 的时态和语态使用稍显不准确。作者在 reading passage 中是提出了一种可能性，但 "might represent" 略显不确定。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 稍微削弱了 reading passage 中提出的理论的力度。
- 修改建议: the author contends that TLP might be the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. 或者 the author proposes that TLP are the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts.
- 错误 5: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes, which is contradicted with the immediate flash observed by amateurs."
- 原因: 教授的观点是流星撞击产生的闪光持续时间短，而 TLP 的持续时间长，你的表达正好相反。"contradicted with" 的用法也不够自然，可以用 "contradicts"。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 完全扭曲了 lecture 中教授的观点，导致信息传递错误。
- 修改建议: The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only one second, which contradicts the average duration of a TLP being 20 minutes observed by amateurs.
- 错误 6: "the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes" (重复错误 5 的问题)
- 原因: 同上。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 同上。
- 修改建议: 改为 "the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only one second".
- 错误 7: "during hermoluminescence"
- 原因: 拼写错误，正确的单词是 "thermoluminescence"。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 拼写错误会影响阅读理解。
- 修改建议: during thermoluminescence.
- 错误 8: "the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which reflects the sun."
- 原因: 语法结构稍显冗余，"which reflects the sun" 是对 "moonlight" 的补充说明，可以直接整合到 "moonlight" 的描述中。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 虽然没有改变意思，但表达不够简洁。
- 修改建议: The professor states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than moonlight, which is reflected sunlight. 或者 The professor states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than sunlight reflected by the moon.
- 错误 9: "Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light of the rock against the shining moonlight."
- 原因: "the light of the rock" 可以更简洁地表达为 "the light from the rocks" 或 "the rocks' light"。
- 为什么不一致/不清晰: 略显不够正式和简洁。
- 修改建议: Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight. 或者 Therefore, the rocks' light is impossible to observe against the shining moonlight.

3. 语法结构错误分析与修改建议

错误 1: 句子结构不够完整或清晰 (例如：第一个自然段的第二句话)。
- 原因: "The author states that TLP might caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of genuine phenomena that actually happens." 这个句子试图表达两个对比的观点，但 "instead of" 之后的部分 "genuine phenomena that actually happens" 缺乏一个完整的谓语动词，导致结构不平衡。
- 正确表达: The author states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of being genuine phenomena that actually happen. 或者 The author states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, rather than being genuine phenomena.
- 错误 2: 连词使用不够准确 (例如：第二个自然段中连接两个观点的 "on the other hand")。
- 原因: "on the other hand" 通常用于对比两个不同的主体或情况。在这里，教授是在反驳作者的同一个观点，使用 "in contrast" 或 "however" 可能更合适。
- 更正式表达: The professor, in contrast, posits... 或者 The professor, however, posits...
- 错误 3: 名词单复数形式不一致 (例如： "meters" 应该为 "meteors")。
- 原因: 笔误或对名词单复数规则掌握不熟练。
- 正确表达: ...meteor showers in which many meteors are grouped together...

4. 文章结构清晰度评估与修改建议

你的文章结构对于一个不熟悉阅读和听力的读者来说基本清晰，你按照 reading passage 的三个理论逐一进行了反驳。但是，为了进一步提高清晰度，可以进行以下修改：

更明确地指出反驳关系: 在每个自然段的开头，更清晰地表明 lecture 是如何反驳 reading passage 的具体观点。例如，可以使用更明确的过渡词或短语，如 "However, the lecturer challenges this claim by arguing that..." 或者 "Countering this point, the professor explains that..."
在每个反驳后简要总结 lecture 的论证: 在解释完 lecture 的反驳后，可以简短地总结一下 lecture 的论证是如何削弱 reading passage 的观点的。例如，在第二个自然段末尾可以加上类似 "This longer duration observed in TLP thus casts doubt on the meteor impact theory presented in the reading." 这样的总结句。
在结尾段进行更强的总结: 你的结尾段只是简单地重复了 "This point is challenged by the lecturer." 可以更进一步总结 lecture 的核心论点，即 reading passage 中的三种解释都无法令人信服地解释 TLP 现象。

修改建议总结:

在每个自然段开头使用更明确的过渡词语，表明反驳关系。
在每个反驳后简要总结 lecture 的论证如何削弱 reading passage 的观点。
在结尾段进行更强的总结。

5. 内容偏差分析与修改建议

偏差 1: 你在描述 lecture 对第二个理论（流星撞击）的反驳时，错误地理解了教授的观点。教授说的是流星撞击产生的闪光持续时间短（约一秒），而 TLP 的持续时间长（平均 20 分钟），两者矛盾。你的回答却说流星撞击产生的闪光会持续 20 分钟以上。
- 原文: "The flashes of light that meteor impacts produce usually last just one second, but the average duration of a TLP is 20 minutes."
- 你的回答: "The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts will last for more than 20 minutes..."
- 修改建议: 将你的回答修改为：The professor, on the other hand, posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only about one second, which contradicts the fact that TLP observed by amateurs typically last for around 20 minutes.

修改后的文章

To counter the reading passage's explanations for Transient Lunar Phenomena (TLP), the lecturer raises several arguments.

Firstly, the author of the reading passage states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of being genuine phenomena that actually happen. However, the lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happen in two very specific locations, which indicates real events occurring on the moon. Therefore, the concentration of TLP in specific areas suggests they are not mere optical illusions.

Secondly, the author contends that TLP might be the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. In contrast, the professor posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only about one second, which contradicts the fact that TLP observed by amateurs typically last for around 20 minutes. This significant difference in duration casts doubt on the meteor impact theory as the primary cause of most TLP.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during thermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than sunlight reflected by the moon. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight. Thus, the weak light from thermoluminescence cannot account for the observable flashes of TLP.

希望这些详细的分析和修改建议能够帮助你更好地理解自己的写作问题并加以改进。继续努力，你的托福写作一定会取得进步！

To counter the reading passage's explanations for Transient Lunar Phenomena (TLP), the lecturer raises several arguments.

Firstly, the author of the reading passage states that TLP might be caused by defects in the telescopes some observers use, instead of being genuine phenomena that actually happen. However, the lecturer rebuts this argument by saying that phenomena caused by telescope flaws might occur in many random places on the surface. TLP actually happen in two very specific locations, which indicates real events occurring on the moon. Therefore, the concentration of TLP in specific areas suggests they are not mere optical illusions.

Secondly, the author contends that TLP might be the flashes of light generated by meteor impacts. In contrast, the professor posits that the light flashes generated by meteor impacts usually last for only about one second, which contradicts the fact that TLP observed by amateurs typically last for around 20 minutes. This significant difference in duration casts doubt on the meteor impact theory as the primary cause of most TLP.

Thirdly, the article says TLP is the result of lunar rocks emitting their own light during thermoluminescence. This point is challenged by the lecturer. He states that the light emitted by lunar rocks is substantially weaker than sunlight reflected by the moon. Therefore, it's impossible to observe the light from the rocks against the shining moonlight. Thus, the weak light from thermoluminescence cannot account for the observable flashes of TLP.

TPO 74

Starting this week, we will discuss how public transportation is funded. Public transportation gives people from all social groups access to their homes, workplaces, and shopping. Some argue that public transportation should be supported by tax revenue so that all people could have free access to it. What do you think? Should public transportation be free to all? Why or why not?

Kelly People already pay so much in taxes for things like schools, roads, and law enforcement. I don’t think that adding one more tax—especially when some people don’t even use public transportation—would be a good idea. People need money for other essentials for their families.

Paul Free public transportation would result in having fewer cars on the roads. Also, it would mean cleaner air for the cities, and there are many health conditions that could be improved with cleaner air. I think the savings in health-care costs and less pollution would make it worth it.

In my opinion, there's no need for free public transportation, since it doesn't cost too much nowadays after all. For example, a high school student who takes the subway to go to school will only spend 4 yuan on public transportation, which is the same value as a bottle of water. Instead, adding one more tax may cause unfairness, due to the fact that people who don't need public transportation will pay an extra amount of money. For instance, teachers who live in school and don't need transportation still need to pay an extra amount of fee. In conclusion, though having free access to public transportation seems to be ideal, it's unnecessary in fact and unfair to some people.

TPO 71

[!EXAMPLE] Sample 5 Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response, you should: - express and support your opinion. - make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Next week, we'll be discussing the role of museums in society, and we'll explore the various contexts, social and otherwise, in which museums operate. Today, I'd like you to think about the benefits of museums. For a city and its residents, what do you think is the most significant advantage of having a museum located in that city? Explain why you think so.

Andrew Museums can inspire people in many ways. If a city has a museum, people have access to out-of-the-ordinary experiences. Whether in a room with sixteenth-century paintings or some moon rocks, being near fascinating objects from the past transports people out of their everyday lives. It can offer them a new perspective or a sense of possibility in their lives.

Student 2 Andrew makes a good point, but personally, I see greater benefit in the social aspect of museum-going. I think the biggest advantage of having a museum nearby is that people can come together for events like exhibitions and lectures or to volunteer. Museums foster a sense of community in a city. They can unite people in a common appreciation of something.

I totally agree with Andrew's point about the cultural meaningness of the museum and I would like to add something. As far as I'm concerned, museum are a significant cultural and historical symbol of a city by providing a splendid glimpse of the city. Therefore, not only does it improve the attractiveness of the city, but also it foster the sense of cultural pride for every residents in city. For example, the well-preserved treasures in Luoyang's museums attract global visitors, showcasing the region's rich history. These institutions also play an educational role, providing students with hands-on learning experiences. In conclusion, museum are an important element of a city due to its cultural impact and education meaningness.

TPO 67

[!EXERCISE] TPO 67 Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response, you should: - express and support your opinion. - make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor This week, we'll be discussing how technological advances are transforming the job market, making some jobs unnecessary. Let's focus on government actions. Suppose the government had to choose between two ways in which to support people whose jobs are no longer needed. The government could either give them enough money to live on until they find new jobs or offer them free job training without giving them money directly. Which of these two solutions do you think is better? Why?

Andrew I believe that the government should prioritize providing free job training opportunities. Modern training programs are usually costly, which means that many people will not be able to afford them without the government's funding. By participating in training programs, people will develop new, in-demand skills and become more competitive in the job market.

Kelly Although I agree that having access to free training programs sounds promising, I think the government's first step should be to give people enough money to live on until they find new jobs. This money will go directly into people's pockets and allow them to make their own choices concerning their future.

Both Andrew and Kelly have made good points, and I believe offering free job training is better, since this method protects the self-esteem of the people. By helping them developing new, in-demand skills, these people will still gain the sense of achievement and confidence from their process of earning the payoff and maintain a proper status in society. In contrast, if they're offered money directly, they will define themselves as a failure in society, losing hope and confidence and only expecting money from government from day to night. In conclusion, while providing money directly is more straight and can solve the problem immediately, offering free job training and teaching them skills are better for their well-being and beneficial for the long term.

[!EXAMPLE] TPO 55 Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response, you should: - express and support your opinion. - make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In 1930, a famous economist predicted that at the end of the twentieth century, an average worker would work only 15 hours a week, thanks to advances in technology. This did not happen, as we all know. Nonetheless, the balance between work time and free time remains an interesting question. So, let me ask you today: Twenty years in the future, will people have more leisure time (free time) and less work than they have today? Why, or why not?

Claire I think it is likely that people will work shorter hours in twenty years than they do today. Our societies are becoming wealthier all the time. It does not seem necessary for people to continue working as hard as they do today. At some point, having more free time should be more important than creating more wealth.

Paul I am not sure people will work less in the future. As Doctor Achebe wrote, a shortening of the workweek was predicted before. There are many factors that determine how long people work. Our economic system is very competitive. Workers are pushed to work longer and longer hours so that companies have a competitive advantage.

In my opinion, people will spending less time working and gaining more leisure time in the future. With the development of technology, different hard works are becoming automated, thus requiring less time for people to finish. For instance, with the rapid development of AI technology, people spend less time processing data in their work, dramatically improving work efficiency and saving a huge amount of time. Still, a voice arises that our competitive economic system will force workers to be more diligent regardless of the time. Ironically, from the whole perspective, the working time is saved in total and the coompetitiveness will be represented in other aspects, such as the quality and the ability to solve the emergencies.

[!EXAMPLE] TPO 35 Write a post responding to the professor’s question. In your response, you should: - express and support your opinion. - make a contribution to the discussion in your own words. An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Professor Over the next few weeks, we're going to talk about recent trends in education. Specifically, we'll discuss how many universities have started letting students take classes from home instead of taking them in person on campus. I want to know what you think about this issue, so here's a quick question for the discussion board: "What do you think is the most significant impact of online classes? Why do you think it has this impact?"

Jack The main thing is that online classes make education more accessible. For one, they help reduce commuting time and costs and give students more flexibility in their schedules. Plus, online learning can be more accessible for students who have disabilities or live far away from campus. Traditionally, high costs have prevented many people from pursuing an education, but thanks to online classes cost is less of a problem.

Emily I think that online classes cause people to learn less than before. There's something to be said for the energy and engagement that comes from being in the same physical space as your classmates and instructor. Moreover, when we take classes in person it is easier to build relationships and collaborate. We learn just as much from personal connections as we do from our actual lectures and textbooks.

In my opinion , online classes make it more personalized for people to get new knowledge. Not only can students can take online classes anytime and anywhere flexibly, but also they can take in the knowledge in a proper speed customized for them by palsing or listening to the same part over and over again. Moreover, with the rapid development of AI technology, some online platforms can offer personalized learning experiences that adapt to each student's strengths and weaknesses, which is difficult to achieve in a traditional classroom setting. In conclusion, online classes offer a more personalized approach to acquiring new knowledge through their flexibility, self-paced learning opportunities, and the increasing integration of AI-powered personalized learning experiences.

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TPO 67

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